Side Effects

I found out some more side effects for the numerous meds. I take.  Lexapro.  It makes you have a flat effect and distant.  Like you just don’t care about anything.  I have wondered about that.  I feel like I should have deeper feelings about things than I do. Oh yeah, I am full of piss and vinger.  I can piss off gobs of people  at a time. I am very outspoken and passonate about things. You know the two things people are not supposed to talk  about. Religion and Politics, I can’t seem to go without talking about it and I have a tendency to piss people off.  Like my doctor told me, people either love me or hate me.  Seems like I got a bunch hating on me right now, but when it comes to feelings, I feel like I’m missing something on the inside.  I have thought that I’d been hurt so much, I built a wall around my heart. I know that’s true too because I felt this way long before I was medicated.  I just kind of shut down.  Oh yeah, I can talk, laugh and be superfical but I don’t feel it in my heart.  Haven’t had a lot to be happy about but yesterday I decieded to live.  In the last four months, I have been sitting on the couch not doing anything.  I mean anything. Yeah I got up and feed myself, drank coffee and played on the computer. I only washed a load of clothes when I ran out of things to wear.  Rick’s company bought him loads of T-Shirts so you know I had plenty.  Well, not played on my computer but keeping my mind occupied to keep from thinking. My house was in horrible shape and my uniform of the day was a T-Shirt and a pair of  underwear. Saturday, I got up and cleaned everything with clorox, soap and water. Mopped, clean counters, appliances scrubbed everything and I felt better.  I dragged the couch away from the wall and cleaned behind it. GAWD!  I found Barney’s toys, 3 balls, 2 hamburgers and a hot dog AND fifteen pounds of dog hair. I use a fan in the living room and evidently it blows most of the dog hair under the couch I guess. Oh and 2 pairs of my shoes and the mate to one of my sandles. Shoes that I won’t be wearing for a while because as I was moving the couch, I could only lift it up a little and the leg scrapped across the top of my big toe and rippped it open. At least it’s clean and smells better in here. After all, I can’t just wait to die in a dirty house. Today I actually cleaned my bedroom and dusted. It looks so much better. While I was cleaning my desk, I had a desktop  in there that died when a transformer blew and I deceided to take it out to the street for the garbage. I don’t know why, but my WI-FI quit working. I started sweating!  No computer???  No! It can’t be!  How can I function without my WI-FI?  I started plugging everything back up to my dead computer and the WI-Fi came back on!  Finally!  My stomach, which I hadn’t realized I was clenching, relaxed.  The dead computer is still sitting on my desk but at least it’s been dusted off. 


About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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