I Really, Really Don’t Know What To do

My husband died on May 18.  My world world was torn asunder.  Then 2 days later as my granddaughter mother, texted to offer her condolesant and said,  I know this is a terrible time to ask but can my granddaughter to move in with me.  She’s turn 18 6 months ago and she has been screaming she wanted to move out as soon as she has turned 18 but she has done nothing to save any money or hold a stable job. She will not even pay her car insurance or phone bill.  She had a job with a Vet clinic and worked maybe 10 hours a day, she quite that and deceided  to prusue babysitting. Of course she calls in being a Nanny but she is a baby sitter. Her family has money and has given her everything.  Her mother got married 10 years ago and I haven’t been allowed to have much contact as I feel she was trying to cut off any ties to this side of the family.  Now that they have made the problem they want me to deal with the mess.  I live in a small place and I don’t even had room for her stuff. Her stepfather packed up her room, because she won’t do it, and he threw everything in her room into black garbage bags and unloaded them.  I still have 7or 8 bags on the front porch and these are very pricey thing.  They had been over here for 4 days and I have yet to hear from my granddaughter.  I messaged her mother last night and told her I couldn’t do it. I had no idea of how out of hand she had become because I’m not considered part of the family so I didn’t NEED to know.  I am ourtaged at the way  they are treating me.  Her other grandmother call me crying at my loss today BUT it wound up all about my granddaughter and how I need to help her grow up.  Now mind you, I losed a big part of income with Rick’s death. But they don’t care. I am not physically able to do it.  I agree to let her stay with me thinking it would be a blessing to me to have her here.  Now I haven’t even had time to mourn Rick and a lot of his stuff is in the front bedroom.  Her other grandmother and grandfather will not allow her to move back into their house because of her baviour and they want me to handle her behavior by myself.  They kept tellinng me I HAD to to put my foot down with her and TELL her to follow the rules.  It hasn’t work in either one of their homes so why would it work here?  I had to keep telling the other grandmother, serveral times that I CAN’T AND WON’T let her live with me because she would cause me to have a nervour breakdown with the way she is acting. Her behavior is causing a rip between her mother and her husband and the grandmother is saying her husband will divorce her if she let her move back in with them.  So, can you see how this works?  Better to let her wreak my life instead of their own.  I don’t know how I would live without writing.  It is my thearpy. Someone I can express how I feel and my thoughts. Thank you for being there for me.


About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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2 Responses to I Really, Really Don’t Know What To do

  1. LadyRavenSDC says:

    “Better to let her wreak my life instead of their own”
    And that just sums it up. You sure became the one real solution when they needed YOU.

    Be kind to yourself. Say no, and take the time you need to be taking right now to mourn your loss and to honor what the two of you shared.

    • 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

      Thank you Lady, I had an hours long conversation with her other grandmother. She was making all kinds of excuses and reasons why she was doing what she was doing. I know you have read about my struggles with being able to see and visit with her but I was being locked out for the past 10.years. I can’t deal with the mess they made.

throw in your 2 cents worth.

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