My Heart Is Breaking

I see Rick everywhere I Iook and in everything that I do. Where he sits on the end of the  couch. I’ll be talking to that end of the couch for a while. Pictures he picked out. The bookcase, driving to go get dog and cat food that he always did, passing the gum and candy isle, never buying orange gum again.  Just everywhere.  I need to write a memorial for him. I have to be strong enough to read it so everyone can remember him like I do.

Rick. You were larger than life.  The man, The Myth And The Magic. The myth was that there are no longer any good men left.  Rick is proof that this myth is not true. Rick was such a good person.  He was the best thing that  ever happened to me and I am so greatfull.  Rick brought magic to my life with his laughter, dancing thur the house and his ways of  stroking my head.  His red neck nutbush ways of fixing things.lol.  Rick was a hard working man. The hole he has left in my heart is so big and dark, I don’t know what I will do  without him. My throat squeezes tight as I stare off into space, remembering him and so longing for him. He was my world. I had to leave the house today and I didn’t think I could make it to the store as my heart literally felt like it was breaking.  I keep saying to myself you have to  do this because Rick’s never going to be back. Never.  That’s forever and I don’t’ know what to do.  Rick was a natural nurse, care giver.  His mother was older and he helped take care of her.  His father dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of 57 when Rick was 15 and Social Security takes a while so he  did best to take care of her.  He and his mother lived near the fair grounds and he was charging a parking fee for people to park in the yard, hustling money to take care of his Momma. He lived with her until she died when he was 33. She died of cancer. A year later he got married.  His wife had open heart surgery after a heart attack six months later.  She was a diabetic, on dialysis for 14 years before she died. She fell and bashed her head in by slipping on ice, going to get in the van for a doctors visit. Rick messed his life’s calling, he should have been a nurse. Rick will live forever in my heart and mind. And I hope he lives on for many other’s also.

Advertisements

About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
This entry was posted in another day in paradise. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to My Heart Is Breaking

  1. LadyRavenSDC says:

    Beautiful words. My heart is with you.

throw in your 2 cents worth.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s