GOOBERS AND NUTS

My sister came over today and as we sat drinking coffee we were talking about the old days and the first time Daddy let either one of us drive back when we lived on the old dirt and gravel roads.  I was about 13 the first time Daddy let me drive.  We were about 1/4 mile from home and he stopped the car after I had begged to drive.  I got out and walked to the drivers side door, grinning like a shit eating possum and sat behind the wheel.  I ask Daddy if it was ready to go? and he said yes.  Well, I pushed the gas pedal and the motor went ROAR!!!!  Then he told me I had to put it in drive before I could go anywhere.  The shitting eating grin turned red with embarrassment.  Huh…some good driver I was!  When it was her turn to drive, Daddy told her to put it in drive first.  He must have learned from me.  But anyway, we got to talking about it didn’t seem I could go anywhere without me running into someone who just eat the last one of my nerves and then there would be a scene.  The crazy lady in the doctors office.  She had an entire waiting room busting full of other people, but she picks me out of the bunch to want to whip my ass.  Or the old bitch who screamed and pointed at me while I was at lunch with my sister and mother over an E-cig.  The entire restaurant was available but she HAD to sit by me.  My sister said I didn’t know if the old lady had Alzheimer or crazy but she knew the old lady in the doctors office was crazy because we were in the shrinks office. She too had her pick of everyone in the office but chose me.  Not only do I have frequent run in with crazy people but my pets are psychotic too.  I told my sister that I must have a crazy magnet in my back pocket because it seems I just suck up the idiots.  I had told my mother years and years ago that I thought I had a goober magnet in my back pocket because when I went out, it seemed that every goober in the place was sucked right up to me.  So I told my sister that my goober magnet and crazy people magnet were working overtime.  Rick looked up and asked, What goober magnet?  I looked at my sister and said, See?

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About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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