I went to The Dinner tonight and my heart is bubbling over. The dinner to meet my granddaughter for the first time in 12 and 1/2 years. She is only thirteen and I haven’t seen her since she was 6 months old. My son and she split up and my granddaughter disappeared. I am sure I’m not the only grandparent that has the missing grandchild syndrome. It rips your heart out. Not so many other grandparents are as lucky as I am and I thankful. My dear sweet granddaughter. She looks just like her father, my son. It’s the whole thing, the shape of the face, the naturally arched eyebrows, his Elvis top lip and the poochy bottom lip. The color of her skin and the color of her hair. She is tall like he was and she is still growing. I’ve missed so much. I missed the years of sitting and reading books and singing new songs and exploring the world thru a pair of new eyes. Learning to know who she is and what she hopes, and dreams. Talking into the night, wondering what heaven looked like and adding grander things all along. Talk about why jack rabbits run and best friends made in a day at the park. I missed all those things but I’m hoping to share new memories and dreams with her. She lives on a farm on and has calves she raises for shows and things. Maybe we could make some memories in the barn or hayloft and talk about hopes and dreams and what heaven looks like. After all, I am closer now. To heaven that is.
My son died over 4 years ago and I have only seen him in pictures since then. Except today. There was his face looking back at me with new eyes. I had to try really hard not to cry there at the dinner table.