I watch a video the other day that was talking about the end times and the mark of the beast. They said the mark of the beast is an empty vessel a waiting a demon spirit. Does that mean I have the mark already? I believe in God. I have been told that all I have to do is say I believe and I’m saved. I have been baptized. Pled my life to Jesus. But you know what? I feel as empty as ever. I have always thought that being saved would be much better but it’s not. I have never heard the small still voice of God and I think the ones that say they do are lying or crazy. I have laid in bed many a night and talked to God but I never receive a peep. I begged and begged to hear God’s voice but never have.
I am obsessed with the end of the world be it by the second coming, nuclear war, comets from the sky, etc., etc. All the signs from the Bible down to prophecy are all here. The space station is going to fall from the sky and then, the Indians say, comes the purification of the earth and it’s people. You all know that the space station is going to fall.
This is the 4th Christmas since my son died. I feel so empty inside that I am now a husk of a human being. I may still look the same on the outside, but inside is where something has died and it’s hollow here. I look at the world around me and wonder why I’m still here. I don’t want to be here but I know God won’t let me die until I have accomplished what ever I was sent here to do. What that is, I have no earthly idea.