Something Inside Me Died

Yes, something has died inside me.  The place where tears used to be died or dried up.  Now, I don’t shed a tear, even when they are called for.  I cried a little when my Mom was diagnosis of lung cancer stage three.  At Thanksgiving my youngest brother gave my mom a locket with the picture of Daddy in it.  My father has been dead since 1997.  Everyone was crying except me.  I was just glad she got it.  I didn’t cry a lot when my son died. It seemed like I was removed from the situation.  Of course I was pilled to the gills at his funeral. I couldn’t hold it together.  1 year ago the finality of the reality of the situation hit me so hard.  I wailed, cried and shook for about 30 minutes. I have 3 anniversaries in a years time.  The day my son died, the day of his funeral which just happens to be on Valentine’s Day and my son’s birthday.   My son was a traveler.  I went months without hearing from him.  He was back and forth across the country.  Usually on someone else’s dime.  For a couple of years I guess I convinced myself that he was on a long trip.  Now, something inside me has died.   My body seems like an empty vessel for my mind.  I close in myself.  My books and computer occupy my mind now and have for a while.


About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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