I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer. I have a strong personality and am very opinionated. I color outside of the lines. I push the envelope. Stubborn, if you will. I have always had a problem with Religious Institutions. The church has scarred me. I have had the church ( I’m not Catholic) deem that I was full of demons. It showed me how much the church, which is not the building, but the people, will stand by you in your most difficult times. They don’t. That’s how people lose faith. If these are the church leaders, representatives of Christ don’t stand by you, then why would you think God would? I looked around in all kinds of different religions, searching for God. No one religion had all the answers. I don’t know why these things have to happen. I don’t know Gods mind and neither do you. None of us can. You can’t put God in a box. But as I have learned through the years I was still searching. I have a thirst for knowledge. I am obsessive compulsive about reading. I scan world events and try to put the pieces together. A little over two years ago my son died. He hung himself. My soul cried out. “I can’t take this pain. Please God help me. Take this pain from me because I cannot bear it.” I sat and stared into nothingness for weeks. The guilt. The what if’s. It ate into my very soul. I remembered every little mistake and what I should have done. These things wake me up in the middle of the night. I felt so very guilty. While staring in to space, I screamed in my head, Why? Oh my God, why?. I screamed and raged for quite some time. Then, my son came to me in my sleep and whilst staring out the window. I dreamed he was sitting beside me, telling me that he was all right. His face had such a beautiful smile and he and the air around him seemed to glow white. While sitting and staring at his picture one day, talking to him in my head, I heard him say, “Come on Momma, you can figure this out.” Yes, I could figure it out. My son was very proud of his Momma. We may have fought like cats and dogs sometimes, but there was always that heart and soul connection. I knew he was still out there somewhere. When I realized that, I realized that yes indeed God is real. He had my son in his hand. That’s when I came understand. Yes, that was faith. I believe. I believe that God is real.
Yes I can figure this out. I have always been interested in ancient things. I read everyone’s creation stories, texts, etc. Then I returned to the Bible to compare the stories. I also read everyone’s end of times stories. The stories of the end of times and some of them reflect what the Bible says. Not the same way but everybody believes that the end will come and that their savior will return to them. The things that are happening now are straight out of the Bible. You can’t know the date but you can look for the signs to know the end is near. Hah! I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. The End Is Near. But the fact remains that the end is indeed near. Look at the global revolutions are going on. It looks like it will happen here some time. Look at the racial strife going on. Blacks hating whites over slavery. Well, guess what? We were All created to be slaves. Don’t believe me, look in the bible. Why did God create man? Because, “there was no one to till the soil.” So, get over it. White man did not create slavery. It has been going on since the beginning of time and in all other countries as well. By all types and races. QUIT BLAMING ME! In the end times when the sky rolls up like a scroll, that will be your nuke. The nations against nations. Brothers against Fathers. All the animals dying. Men being burned by the sun. But I’m not going to spoon feed it to you, look it up yourself. Do I have to do Everything for You? The Government, under the rule of Satan and Money, is running the world. They are getting us to destroy ourselves. It is time for people of like minds to band together. Thur out time, that’s how you survive. Your own tribe if you will. We, that believe in God and that the United States was created one nation under God need to band together. But sometimes I just think what’s the use. This has to happen. And it will. I don’t know why but God does.