BARNEY!

Last night Rick was out in the backyard throwing Barney’s squeaky toys. Barney just loves his squeaky toys. If it doesn’t squeaky, he doesn’t want it. Rick was standing at the end of the back yard. I opened the back door and Barney ran my way, then Rick squeezed the toy. Barney looked at me, then Rick squeeze the toy and Barney ran off to get the toy. He ran so fast. He got his toy and came barreling to the back toy. Being as I have the gift of dog speak I will translated for you. Barney came in, spun around and said, ” I’m in the HOUSE!!! Oh Boy, I’m in the HOUSE.” and proceeded to run through all the rooms checking things out. Meanwhile, Mo-Mo the kitty-o is following Barney, all the while, blown up like a puffer fish, hissing, growling and slapping the shit out of Barney. Barney doesn’t pay mo-mo any attention. He goes into mo-mo’s room, checks out what mo-mo has to eat and cruising by the litter bit for appetizer. Then it’s into the kitchen to have a big drink of water. After he finishes drinking, he says, ” Oh Boy, let me go see what that lady is doing. She really likes me and she smells good.” So, up onto the couch with me as he is licking my face, hair, and glasses. Rick was in the kitchen and squeezed his toy. “The man has my toy!” said Barney as he raced into the kitchen. “The man is going to throw my toy in the HOUSE!!! Aren’t these just the best people in the world to have!” After a few minutes Barney came into the living room and just went BALOOM on the floor. That’s how the big Galoot lays down. He just falls. Mo-mo is on the back of the couch growling, hissing and all. Barney stands up and looks at me and sees Mo-mo on the back of the couch and his ears perk up. So Barney is going to come sit in my lap. Did I tell you that Barney weights 100 pounds? Barney is NOT messing with Mo-mo, but Mo-mo is out of control! Hissing and growling and slapping Barney. Somehow I got smacked a couple of times too. Barney had been in the house for about 4 hours, so we decided to let Barney back out. Rick walked to the back door and called Barney. Barney snuck around the kitchen and noticed, that was the back door Rick was standing next to. Barney come hauling back into the living room going, “Oh no. I’m not following for that trick.” So Rick had to get his squeaky toy and squeezed. Barney went running for the back door and Rick threw the toy out of the door. Barney is my hero. He loves me and is delighted to see me anytime. Even if some people aren’t delighted to see me.

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About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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One Response to BARNEY!

  1. Pingback: Man’s Best Friend, or The Spawn of Satan? | I AM TOM NARDONE

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