At 911, Let the Weekend Begin!

Madison Police car

Madison Police car (Photo credit: Pahz)

I have dispatched all kinds of emergency vehicles. Fire, Ambulance and Police.  I’m the one (or was ) that answered your 911 calls.  You get the feel for how the shift will be in the dispatch office based upon what day of the week or the time of day or the season it is.

The winter time is usually busy for the fire department.  You have the people that are trying to unthaw their frozen pipes by means of a blowtorch. For real. How did they ever think that would work without even thinking about the consequence of the blow torch under the sink?  Then you have the homes where the hot water heater is in the attic.  The pipes are blown and water starts pouring through the light fixtures and outlets. They ( the caller) even thought that the fire department would be able to do their electrical work.  All the fireman did was shut the water off and make sure there was no fire danger. Off course the power had to be cut off to.  That didn’t go over very well.   Then there are the people that are homeless and build a fire trying to stay warm.  It’s going to burn down whatever structure they might be in.  And of course add your everyday house fires.  Or grass fires.

Police and ambulance are busy when the folks start coming home from school or work.  It just seems like people can’t get along when you put them in the same house for more than an hour or so.  I have noticed that Friday nights are tough.  That’s when everybody gets paid, drinks are bought and the ass whippings begins.  Friday night is the night most divorced folks are swapping children for the weekend.  You get to see the ex,and the one that replaced you,ride off with the kids.  Add alcohol, a few smart-ass remarks and there you go!  I took a call on a Friday night about  fighting over Pork Chops.  People were cooking out and got to fighting over whose pork chop belonged to whom.  Really.  Would you call the police to preside over the grill?  People will fight over the stupidest things.  And then do some of the stupidest things to wind up  in the back of an ambulance.  Zip your jeans up over some part of the genitalia.  OUCH!  Or, decide you are 10ft tall and bulletproof which reminds me of an ambulance call.  I got a call from this man that had shot himself.  He was in the kitchen when he called and was bleeding profusely from an artery in his upper thigh.  The man had nothing to place over the wound.  He was in his underwear so I told him to use his hand to stop the flow.  As we were talking, waiting for the ambulance, he told me how he had shot himself.  The guy was upstairs in his bedroom standing in front of the mirror in his underwear playing quick draw.  I guess he didn’t draw fast enough and his finger hit the trigger.  I think he was using his underwear as a holster.  These call are bad for the victim and I was very professional in handling the call and giving first aid over the phone, but afterwards it was funnier than hell.  That where my dark humor comes from.  And no, I’m not violating the HAPA law.  I have mentioned no names, cities, states, etc.

One night when I was working, this man called and he said that there was a horse running up and down the street biting people.   This was in the country and it was country dark.   The man was very drunk.  I thought to myself, if you would just leave the horse alone, he wouldn’t be trying to bite to his stupid S.O.B. self.


About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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