Snot, Casting out Demons, Spontaneous Human Combustion

I have to re-write my post. Some how I deleted it, so here goes.

I had two doctors appointments in one day.  I went to the first doctor because my head was so full of snot.  The gave me a sinus cocktail so maybe I’ll feel better. The second doctor I went to was for a refill prescriptions.  As I was sitting in the doctor office waiting room, in came this woman that looked like she came straight for a casting call for the PTL club.  There she was with the big hair, lots of makeup, jewelry and the medicated smile ( or the brainwashing technique smile) Ear to Ear.  She announced that she just came for the Mayo Clinic, and she was healed by Jesus. I was wondering how Jesus fit in with the Mayo Clinic.  Did the Mayo Clinic book Jesus?  Did she go thur the Mayo Clinic for treatment, then got a healing from Jesus because the Mayo Clinic had booked Jesus?

Then she made the whole waiting room pray.  This was making people a little uncomfortable.  Then she started going around the room asking each person their name ( of course this was one person at a time.) and then she started laying on of hands and praying for them to be healed.  This made the people more uncomfortable.  Some people would only give her their last names.  She did this with everyone in the room.  She came to me and started touching my head, neck and back while she was praying for me.  Then all of a sudden she started casting out demons. No body else had demons if guess.  She was still casting the demon out, when the nurse called my name.  I jumped up and said “I’m here” and tried to scamper away.  She lady from the Mayo Clinic raised her voice and asked me what the code word of the day was.  I pumped my fist in the air and said,”Healed.”  I got the code word wrong.  It was supposed to be “Jesus Heals.”  I guess am going to hell for that.

When I got back in the exam room I asked the nurse, “Why does everyone wanted to cast demons out of me?”  I told her that I had a friend go round the bend with religion.  She said that I had demons in me and she took me to an exorcist.  Well, not a real exorcist, a Baptist one.  The man, his wife and my friend did the laying on of hands and praying.  Then the exorcist bent down in front of me with a bible in his hand.  I really thought he was going to hit me with it. He started speaking to the demon who was supposed to be inside me.    Now remember, he is squatting in front of me.  He started yelling at the demon, saying “What is your name. What is your name!!!”  If I had know ANY demons name, I would have told him, just to get him out of my face. Not to mention the spit that was coming out of his mouth while yelling.  Then he decided that he would name the demon, being as I couldn’t help him there.  He named my demon ‘depression’.  I’m like now wait a minute, aren’t demons suppose to be labeled in Latin?  Did I get short-change on my demons?  And where was the holy water?

I really did have a sinus infection, but I also had acute bronchitis and a touch of pneumonia.  I didn’t know it at the time.  I got so hot that I needed ice bags on the back of my neck to cool me down.  I told Rick that he should put a couple of buckets of water by the bed.  He looked at me and asked,  why would he need to do something like that?  I told him what with me going to hell and all, that I might be another case of spontaneous human combustion and he might need the water if it wanted to burn more than parts of me.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  But then again, I am.


About 1wanderingtruthseeker

I'm a fiftish woman that has opinions and passions about nearly everything under the sun. I love a good debate, not name calling. I believe in the Constitution , the Bill of Rights and God. I believe the government which governs the least is the best government of all. I believe in the rights of the people. I dispatched fire trucks, the Po-Po and ambulances for a long time so I have a wicked sense of dark humor and speak fluent sarcasm. I think out loud a lot times. I am offensive. But I'm offensive of everybody. Socially unacceptable, plain spoken and unashamed. If you don't want to be offend, please don't read and if you do, please consider that I'm not politically correct in any sense of the word.
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