The other day, and aquaintance on FaceBook wanted to tell other facebookers that nobody wanted to hear or read about other people’s problems. Like he/she broke up with me and doesn’t love me any more, about hating Christmas and being broke ( that I guess was directed at me ), or how sad everyone was in their everday life. Needless, to say, I let her know that I was soooo sorry about voiceing my devasation over my son’s death. Then I blocked her. I should have told her to be careful of whose’s toes she stepped on because some of us have very long memories. I knew this girl from when I was a teenager in Mississippi. By the time she was 13, she had screwed every boy in two counties. I saw with my own eyes the night she took on 4 guys. She was on the hood of the car, I was in the backseat fighting off a guy. I guess they thought that I was like her. My sister was in the front seat and I had to pull a guy off of her. Needless to say, I never went any where with her again. Oh, and her boyfriend wreaked the car. Knocked the windsheild out.
By her post, I found another person that was greiving over her daughter who commited suicide. She has told me of a support group in Collierville for survivors of suicide. God always put people in your life for a reason.
I have said before that Facebook is so superficial. No body ever wants to just talk about their life’s on facebook except for “I”m so wonderful” Well, I’m glad everyone is just so wonderful. But me, I just have the problems in life that I am dealing with, or should I say trying to deal with. The death of my son this year was almost more than I could handle. I still remember so well the officers telling me that “Thomas hanged himself this morning.” I couldn’t believe them. I knew that couldn’t be right. My son was so full of life. He was the center of attention in any room he walked into. So, that couldn’t be right. I thought someone in the jail had killed him. I believed that until I couldn’t anymore. I fought to get the files from the police. It showed what they told me was the truth. That Brad was in a single cell and that what had happened to him was by his own hand. The transcript of the tapes, video, the guard’s statement and the autopsy report.
I told Rick last night that I wasn’t going to allow him to make derogtory remarks about me anymore. That I wouldn’t allow it. The day Brad died, I was on the phone to my mother telling her about Brad. Rick, in the backgroung (he was sitting next to me) said, “would your like some cheese?” You know, a little cheese with that whine? My mother yelled, WHAT DID HE SAY? I couldn’t deal at the time, so I just let it go by. If I hadn’t been in shock, I would have punched him dead square in the face, but I couldn’t deal with anymore right then. Since then, I have looked at him with my heart broken and wondered, How could you have ever said anything like that to me? When I first met Rick, I was alittle over weight. Rick said that he likes a sturdy girl. Since we have been together ( he is over weight) he keeps buying cakes, chocolates any and every kind of junk food. I know I shouldn’t have eaten everything he brought to me. I know it’s my own fault, but when I put on even more weight, he started making fat jokes. It has really hurt my feelings. Rick is no skinny mini, he weighs 300 lbs., but he thinks he looks so good. And he has aged well. He is 54 years old, but doesn’t look it. 2011 was a hell of a year for me. I hope and pray that it will be a better year this year.
I changed my toolbar and don’t have the spellcheck anymore so forgive any misspellings.