I am losing my mind. Everything has gone to shit and I can’t see a way out. I am wreaked and so is my house. First, I had everyone looking for Rick’s half sister that he hadn’t seen for 55 years. Well, someone contacted her after his obit was in the paper. She lives inCalifornia and called me. I told her I had tried to contact her and I followed what Rick’s wishes to have him cremate and spread his ashes on the on the cremation. The funeral home told me, after I hacondolisences they have had him for 11 days, that Rick’s half sister needed to e-mail her or write a letter to give her permission No one informed me of it. Mind you it’s already paid for. I called her and some old man answered and I asked for her and he said she wasn’t home so I gave him a message to give her and what it was about. No call, so I tried at night and got her answering machine and left a message. She is in her seventies and I got snippy in the message that her brother had been laying dead for two weeks and I needed to take care of him. No answer. What can I do??? I hate people. HATE HATE, HATE THEM.
After Rick died, both pairs of my glasses broke. Each one had an arm missing. The dog ate my bottom denture. The commode is broken and won’t flush right and I have to tank the tank lid off to fix it. The kitchen light blew. My airconditioner broke. Everything is falling apart and the in the middle of all this, my out of control granddaughter got dumped on me. They never let me know how out of control she was so they packed her stuff in garbage bags and dumped them here when they didn’t even know where she was and I didn’t know where she was. Almost a week this stuff sat there and then I posted that the next day was garbage day and if anybody wanted everything to come pull it off the curb. I was so mad at her and her parents and other grandparents. None of them would allow her to live with them because of her behavior. So, why pick me when my husband had just died? I have found people lie so much. Not only my granddaughter but all the other people said if I need anything done to just call them. Yeah right. Only two people have stood by me and that was my mother and a friend I hadn’t talked to in years. Mind you, I have two brothers and a sister. My sister didn’t even say sorry for your lose. She came up with Momma on day six or seven. I let them in the door and my sister sat down in the wind chair opposite me. She didn’t say a word. It was tension was tight, so I finally told her exactly how she acted. She was a mean and hateful person. She still didn’t say anything, a few minutes later she left. My momma told me I didn’t give her enough time for her to apoligize. I screamed Six Days! She had six days and I let her in the door, didn’t I? My mother came to her defense so I told momma to go home and tend to her daughter. That she couldn’t even take my side when she was so clearly wrong and I am right? I also told her that everybody in my family just had a 4 day weekend and not even a call. I am sick of the people where he worked because they were throwing a memorial for Rick and take up a collection to help pay for his service. Yeah, right..
My husband died a little over two months ago. I have sat and thought of how our lives were intertwined for decades before we met. When he was 8 years old he was run over by a drunk driver on his way to school. He told me about it. He said he was coming up on the gates of Heaven and the fog was rolling and the gates were swinging open, then all of a sudden the gates slamed shut. He then woke up in the back of an ambulance. That ambulance company belonged to my uncle and was right up the street a few blocks away. It was probably my uncle or one of his first employees. Hell, it might have even been my father. We bought one of my motherand father’s houses and this is where he died. Near death and full term death has both intertwined with my family. intertwined for forty years. There must be a reason why, but I don’t understand it right now but maybe some day. I asked him what he felt about it and he said that God didn’t want him.
My husband had a friend that had a near death experience from a gun shot wound. He died in the operating room and said he felt like in was in an amphitheatre watching the doctors working on him. Then he felt like someone was coming for him and he zapped back into his body. I ask him how he felt and he said, I felt invincible! Nothing could kill me now! I could fight back from death.
My uncle had a near death experience when he was a small child. He had phmonia and back then they didn’t have all the great drugs we have now so they had a drain in his lungs. He said that he got out of bed and a man held his hand and walked to God. God told him it was not his time and that he would live a long life and would touch many people and he has indeed.
So, I know there’s an after life in heaven. I just don’t know if hell is a real place. It must be because if one is true then the other one is too. That kinda put a halt to thoughts of suicide on the back burner. I wondered though. I talked about it today with my mother because my son and brother killed themselves. I told Momma that I didn’t think God would punish someone if the load was just to great for them to bear. That God must know they aren’t mentally stable and are breaking apart? God gave me a beautiful mind but it’s broken. Bi-poplar. Half the time I think nothing is wrong and things are just rolling along and I’m doing good. Reaching goals in my life and everything is going great. Then the anger comes. I can’t control it. I scream at people. I don’t deal well with stupid people. The depression that comes immediately following the rage is the worse. You fall so far down, I call it the pit. I can’t go back there so here I sit. Medicated on the couch.
The times before Jesus was born were very turbulent times. Nation against nation Rome ruling Israel, Roman was a pagan empire, Israel Jewish, The Jewish people were looking for a Messiah to save them. They expected a military savior to return Israel back to the the Jews. The time was ripe. They rejected Jesus because he wasn’t a military messiah. Today it’s not much better. If one were to read revelations you know the man of sin will come first. The Antichrist. Many will flock as we, especially Americans are looking for a savior too. The great falling away. The tares and the wheat. The Jews will probably think it really is a military messiah and we know that Allah or whoever matches characterizations of the Biblical Anti-Christ.
Racism is alive and well, thank you very much but…it’s not what you think it is. It’s blacks hating whites. Not only calling for our lives but taking them too. I am filled to the gills with this shit. Blacks, as an example of a race, commit more crimes than other races. Fact. Numbers don’t lie. It’s not like cops are allowing white people to run wild with crime and not arrest them. Race baiters do not want to hear facts. The only whites getting away with crime are the wealthy and before you start saying money is only given to whites with ‘ let’s look at the black men with money. Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton, Obama and his brothers in the government all commit crimes and flount in the faces of all. If whites were so racist and going to kill blacks just because we hate them, wouldn’t we start at the top? Whites can’t be a victim of HATE crimes? What do you mean? Blacks gather in large mobs and calling to kill random white people and white cops! If that’s not hate I don’t know what is. BLM is a homegrown terrorists group, not the NRA. Blacks don’t want equal justice. They want revenge. How long will we continue to except this hate filled crime wave? It’s like they want the movie the Purge! Twelve hours of nation wide lawlessness! But, how long did they give the Furgerson purge to go on? Days and days. Give them room to let them get it out of systems. This is supposed to be their day of rage. Let them burn their communities to the ground! The most important lesson here is, don’t buy or go into a business in the ‘poor minorities’ communities. Most insurance doesn’t cover violence from riots or civil disobedience. Read the fine print. Now, people with a brain can understand this. BLM protesters don’t give a fuck.
Now, let’s talk about OPEN BORDERS!!!!!!! See! Not one gun was involved in France.. This muslim didn’t use a gun Obama!!!!! He used a truck! These muslims are flooding into our country at an enormous rate. Refugees my ass! It is an Army moving in and Obama and all the stupid democrats are at the border waving them in. I wonder what black lives matter is covering up??? I know it started the day after Hillary lied to the F.B.I. and Congress about her breaking the law and not be prosecuted. BLM is a Hillary Nation in action. An assassination attempt of a presidential candidate? The new black panthers are going in with open carry if they can. Well, let me tell you they can prohibit guns at rallies. They did it to a KKK rally many years ago. And that meeting wasn’t a Presidential government Convention just a few folks standing around in what looked like white choir robes talking about their race. The folks that were violent were blacks and the news media was interviewing every hate spewing, white hating black they could find.Whether they had teeth or green lip stick with a gaggle of kids at this Hate rally.I know how the police can help in that matter. Run a wants and warrents at the Gathering for their Day of Rage! Damn! Ain’t I smart?!?!?!? Folks were searched for the day of the KKK rally.It was pure politics. Because the negros were mad and the city officals (democrats) didn’t want to lose votes and to make sure no one was shot. But they (media) painted it to look like the KKK wanted to shoot the blacks. Stir that shit baby!
Okay, let’s look at what is going on. BLM is going nation wide calling to kill whites and cops and Obama and Hillary want to get rid of the guns! To disarm us so we can’t defend ourselves or our family. First, I want to see you take all the criminals guns. Bet that would drop the gun murders and crime rates, but noooo… THAT’S RACIST!!!!!
I don’t know how much more racist remarks against white people we are supposed to take! From the terrorist group BLM and The President saying we (white people and white cops) must change our behavior. I call BULL SHIT! Numbers show that blacks committ more crimes than any other race. Mexicans next. Profiling is common fcuking sense to have more pollice presence in high crime areas. No profiling allowed at the airport? Just who in the hell is blowing shit up and terror attacks? Are this people retarded mentally? I am sick of the WHITE PRESECUTION of just being born. Piss on that. I am sick of our educational systems that is gear for low I.Q. students but screaming racism when white children do much better. Insane again. Black racist are targeting random white people. Broadcasting Facebook and Youtube and no one is prosecuted for it, unless it’s a white person doing the threatening. If black lives really mean something why aren’t they protesting blacks killing blacks in Detriot, Chicago and Memphis? Where were they when a black mother cut the throat of 4 of her babies? Dallas killing White Cops? Let’s see pictures and wrap sheets of ALL those killed by the police. If blacks hate whites so much, why do you live in the states and town and cities where we are the majority? Affirmative Action was the decline of our Country. Instead hiring unqualified blacks while whites with experience and a degree do not get the job. Ignorant people running department that they have no idea of how to do the job has put this country in the shape it is in now. We are no longer the America we used to be where all men are created equal. Follow the Constitution law, etc. etc. We no longer have freedom of speech. We only have free speech if we agree with them.
Okay now about the Talk. Black parents are teaching their children to obey the cops. Plain simple truth. It’s what you are suppose to do. Follow law instructions and you don’t get shot.
Take back your life white people. The life that is ours by our Constitution. Blacks believe the basic Islamic tennet to Kill white people where ever you find them. Blacks hate us just like the Muslims.
- DARKNESS IN AMERICA Hatred, sickness plots against our homeland, they’re coming, They’re here in this land, they don’t hide as their faces are seen. Work with you they do, maybe a smile as they pass you by, As good people they come in from all sides, they don’t have to sneak. They step from planes […]
via DARKNESS IN AMERICA — keithgarrettpoetry