When I first found my grand baby I was ecstatic! Since then I have written her mother two letters asking and begging for information about her. I have received no reply. Neither in my mailbox or e-mail box which she has both. I made sure she had them in my letters. Claudia’s mother, I found out, is a school teacher and self proclaimed Christian. In church every time it opens. Someone please explain to me how a Christian woman can have so little compassion for others that her church claims to have? I have been shut out of her life since 2001 and now she and her sister are the only links I have to my son. My son died Feb. 9,2011. My first granddaughter summed it up quite nicely. Her mother didn’t want my son see her and I agreed to that, so I have quite a close relationship with her. Was I wrong to agree to that? I just don’t know anymore. Not after my son died, I’m not sure of anything but I know part of him is out there and I must meet her. I had a letter written to her husband thanking him for being Claudia’s daddy. I know there is a big difference between a biological father and a daddy and I wanted to thank him for being the stable home that my son couldn’t give either daughter. I had it written and ready to go then a friend called and I was telling her about what I did. She told me I was doing things all wrong. Huh?! I should not try to guilt trip them about my son being dead. And she knows I love to shock people. Huh? Why do I even bother calling people friends that think everything I do is wrong? Guilt trip them? I just told the plain truth. My son is dead. He hanged himself. I guess what I’m supposed to do is let them know I will sit here on my ass until they decided to tell Claudia that her mother’s husband is not her father. Waste all those years that I could be getting to know her. My “friend” said she had to harden her heart about children from her two son’s because the mother’s have all the power to take them in and out of your life at will. I wonder how those children feel. Knowing that she doesn’t try to see them. I don’t care whose ass I have to kiss, I want to see that girl. Well, I am inserting myself and not just waving bye-bye to my grandchild. I’d rather have my heart broken than harden. I want to know this child. Who is she? What are her likes and dislikes? What does she want to be when she grows up? And of course there is medical history that needs to be told. Who is Claudia? I want to know. I want her to know me and her sister that she doesn’t even know she has. She has two little sisters now, but I bet she would love to know she has an older sister that wants to help her deal with things. I am not going to give up on meeting her. She is flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood.
Things are going crazy around me. I have found my other granddaughter but my family doesn’t seem to care. I put her picture that I found of her on my facebook page. Nobody from my family called or said anything to me for 2 or 3 days. My sister called today and I asked her if she had seen the picture I put up of Claudia. She said yes and I replied, Does she look just like Brad? And she said well, she does have some of his features. Some of his features? She looks just like him except her nose and she got that from her mother. I saw that when she was born. Her grandfather on her mother’s side got mad at me the night she was born because I said her birth sign was so and so. How dare I say anything like that?! They are church of Christ and I offended them. Well her grandfather offended me when he laid her in his lap and started to out line where she need liposuction on her thighs and chin. This is an hours old infant. I wanted to knock him in the head. First off, she is being raised as a Church of Christ, where women have no say so in anything. They can’t teach or preach to a man about anything religious or at home. The man runs everything. At church and home. I want to know about my granddaughter and have a relationship with her. Does she like to write or is art her thing ? I know her mother liked to write and I do too. Does she have her father love and talent at drawing and painting? Does she like to read. Does she have a heart so big that she lets friends inside too quick? Does she have that gap between her front teeth? Does she love to talk like her father, me and Jessie? Does she feel like she is going to be famous some day? What will she think about me and her half sister? Will she want to know more about us? Does she have that devil may care personality like her father? Or is she studious nature like her mother? I have been checking e-mail and mailbox daily to see if I get a response. My heart sinks every time I see the emptiness of my mailbox and e-mail.
I guess I’ll a little open about my self on here, but where else can you go when nobody seems to care or listen to you at home? I type what I truly feel and if that leaves me venerable, oh well. As I have told before, my house is paid for. It’s an old house and needs some tender loving care and repairs. I tell Rick about them but he does nothing about it. We have a leak under the bathroom sink that has been going on for months and he has done nothing about it. I may have to replace the bathroom floor underneath the sink. We have a leaking roof and the ceiling in the spare bedroom is coming down. And nothing is done about it. I have my handy man, but Rick is trying to drive him away. The man is a friend of his. I put on facebook that I needed him to come by the house because my house had a few problems and needs to be fixed. He told me the reason we haven’t seen him is because the last time he called Rick, Rick hung up on him. I apologized for Rick’s behavior (second time I’ve had to do that to the same person.) and told him that it was MY house and Rick wouldn’t do anything about it. I still haven’t heard from him. Rick refuses to put money into the repair of the house. He has been here for 8 years and the total of repairs done is two thousand dollars and I paid for part of that. How much would it cost him to rent a place somewhere? Certainly more than two thousand for 8 years. So, yesterday after I found out what happened to my handy man, I told Rick that I was going to charge him 100 dollars a week for rent or house repairs. That didn’t go over well. He slept in the living room last night.
Well, I guess he thought about it today while working. He came home talking to me and he wasn’t mad or anything. I guess he figured out he had a pretty good thing going on around here and admitted he needed to have things fixed around here. Hope it last and I hope the handy man will accept my apologizes.
They have a “possible” case of Ebola in Nashville Tennessee. Four hours from me. One hour away from my newly found granddaught and three hours from my number 1 granddaughter. They will quarantine county by county using all police, cancel police officers leave, vacation. Call in all volunteers, dollar a year reserve cops. The sheriff’s officers, jailers and of course the State and Federal police and the National Guard. Oh, I forget all medical staff, emergency vehicles, fire department personal and Ambulance personal. None for you. Forced vaccines. F.E.M.A. camps for the exposed. And their families. You better not cough or vomit. Cause there you go. I think this is the big bad thing I knew was coming. I didn’t know what it was but I knew it was coming. Also it is described in the Bible as part of the birth pangs of the end times. Read about the plagues. The wars in the Middle East, the comets or asteroid coming toward us or always the big nuke threat. Obama keeps poking Putin in the eye with a stick, I’m sure that will happen. We have never done anything to stop any of this. This is a global thing and the U.N. will step in and take our guns after they have made you take the vaccine. They will take your guns to keep you from shooting the people that are trying to kill you. Don’t you see it coming? Don’t you wish you had listen to preppers about a bug out location? After they have quarantined your county your food supply is going to stop. The government will feed you, medical care and protect you from the infected folks. All you have to do is come to the camps. They will even provide transportation for you. Then they will start taking farms to feed the greater good. You can’t be greedy and feed your family while others who have done nothing to try feed themselves get some. Yeah, right. They will take your stocked food if they find it. What are you going to do now? Are you going to fight for your life and your families life? Or are you going to go to the camps to be taken care of? I know people that depend on the government will go by the bus loads. What can be done?
Last night I talked to my Granddaughter (not the missing one) for 2 hours. We talked about a lot of stuff. My husband and I talked quite a lot about different things. After I got off the phone and opened my sites, there was ads for everything we talked about. I was furious. How dare you? They know I know and now they are just messing with me. I can hear them breath in conversations on my smart phone that I have had with my sister, so I just said into the phone, Hey you, you fat heavy breathing government troll just hang up. The breathing stopped. I have been outspoken about my opinions so I know I’m on a list by now. No, I’m not imagining things. Read the list of home grown terrorists and you’ll see who is on there. I am just very observant of what is going on. There are government scandles being covered up that we can hardly keep count of them. It was planned for Ebola. Letting those from Ebola stricken countries fly right in. Our president is tring his best to start a race war. Benghazi. Middle East war and how our president will always stand with the Muslims if the winds changed. That came out of his own mouth. He will allow Muslims to take over America, not caring one bit for the citizens of America. The persons he is supposed to protect.
My cousin found her mother for me. She is more computer savvy than me. She found them about two weeks ago and I have written to her mother. Today makes the second letter. I included my address, phone number and e-mail address but no answer. In the letter I sent her today, I told her that it was her choice now how her daughter finds out how about us. The last time I saw her was when she was 6 months old. They had changed the last names. Does she even know who her father is or the fact that he is dead? She doesn’t even know she has a half sister or a Grandmother who loves her. My first granddaughter is so mad that she took her half sister. It is not fair to her or her sister. It’s not fair because her whole life has been a lie. My first granddaughter says she could be such a positive influence on her. She said that her half sister was 13 now and that’s a very rough age and she could help her with it because she has been there. My son told me that she looks just like him. I really couldn’t see it at the time because she hadn’t really grown into her face at six months. She has his lips mouth and grin. How I would love to see that little face again. I’ll let you all know if I hear from her or her reaction when her half sister and Grandmother show up on her front doorstep.